ORDER ONLY: Denouement

[alt_mcgonagall]

At last I can report on the Ollivander affair.

I am certain that we are all intimately familiar with the details of the incident itself - the boy appears to be of quite the horrid turn of mind - but, of course, the question is 'what happened to him afterward'?

The board of governors and I were, for once, of precisely the same mind, if for rather different reasons, as far as I can tell from their various missives. They sputtered on and on about 'defiling himself' and so on - I haven't heard such phraseology since old Dexter Fortescue attempted to show me the pamphlets they distributed about the sin of onanism. (I imagine we are all glad to no longer be living in the reign of Queen Victoria.) In any case, they agreed that the punishment must be harsh and immediate.

The obvious punishments, naturally, were handed out. Mr Ollivander will be serving detentions every night for the next month, and afterwards once a week for the rest of his time at school, with various professors. He is no longer a prefect, and he shall write several feet on the subject. He is not to speak with Miss Granger or come within ten feet of her unless absolutely necessary.

Privately, however, I have determined that Mr Ollivander's behaviour towards Miss Granger suggests a vicious nature, and that he must not be allowed to behave in the same manner towards any other person. I have therefore taken action to ensure that it is impossible for him to do so. His offending organs shall be returned to him, naturally, during the hols; but while he stays under Hogwarts' roof, he must not be allowed to follow his basest instincts.

(I must admit that I was very satisfied to perform the necessary spell. Miss Granger, I regret that you could not be present, but it does not seem wise to allow you to have too much contact with Mr Ollivander.)

Comments

[alt_sirius]

Well, NOW there are.

Thanks a lot. Pillock.

[alt_frank]

I do my best, mate

[alt_sirius]

That's what your wife tells you, anyway.

[alt_frank]

last I checked, I've got rave reviews.

and a date with a hot redhead seven days a week.

[alt_frank]

not that I'm bragging, mind, just stating the facts.

[alt_arthur]

Lucky man. I have quite a thing going on with a lovely red-head myself.

[alt_molly]

Oh, shush.

[alt_frank]

so I hear!

[alt_sirius]

Fair enough. And meanwhile it's given me the competitive spirit to buy the lovely Adelia a pint. (No, she's not a redhead, but then we can't have everything.)

[alt_frank]

that's the truth, mate. go for it, I say.