ORDER ONLY: Sirius. Frank.

[alt_mcgonagall]

I more than understand your tender attentions to Professor Carrow, but I would have appreciated fair warning.

Am I to take it that you used Polyjuice Potion? Or was it only Sirius, and was he actually hallucinating?

Comments

[alt_sirius]

Polyjuice potion? Carrow?

Dunno what you mean, Professor.

[alt_mcgonagall]

Do not toy with me, Sirius; I have been teaching students all morning and my temper is not what it used to be!

You are not dead, Sirius; and Amycus Carrow claims that he got into a fight with you last night; and you were in the area. It is circumstancial evidence, but it is evidence nonetheless, and I don't believe for one moment that you had nothing to do with it!

[alt_sirius]

Ah. But I am dead. Officially. Just ask anyone. Ask Malfoy.

And anyway, Frank and Poppy and I had the sprog to look after and all.

If you ask me, Carrow's finally gone round the twist. Attacked by us? By Dementors, more like.

[alt_mcgonagall]

Truth and public opinion are quite different things, as you well know, as you certainly aren't a ghost. And I certainly don't put it past you to leave the "sprog," as you put it, all swaddled up and hanging on a tree branch while you went and got revenge for Evelyn's cat! I know you too well, Sirius Black.

[alt_sirius]

We would never!

[alt_sirius]

Oh, all right, then.

We snuck out while Poppy was asleep.

Mostly I hung back while Frank exercised his rights as a father wearing my face.

And Crooks helped a little; he told us where to find the bastard. He was only too happy to play the role of Evelyn's cat's ghost, as well. Carrow was too drunk to know the difference.

You might as well know I've sicced the ghosts on him, too. Oh, and he shan't be able to touch his usual libations for a while. That was one of the last things we did. Little curse on his tongue. Alcohol's going to taste and feel like acid for a few ... days. Maybe a little longer, not sure. Frank was powerful angry when he cast it.

Anyway, Frank's asleep now and so's the infant. I expect your scream of fury will wake him all the way from the Headmistress' office, though, if you want to take it up with him.

[alt_mcgonagall]

Well, thank you for admitting to it, at least. It isn't at all appealing when a grown man behaves like a little boy.

My life is, I'm certain, going to be not at all pleasant over the next few weeks. Nevertheless, I am glad that he got his comeuppance - and I shall have to feed Crookshanks a fish or so next time I see him for his part in it.

As for Frank, I shall certainly have words with him. It was extremely irresponsible, however appropriate the punishment.

[alt_poppy]

I cannot begin to convey how little amused I am to have been used in this manner.

And my ill temper is not made better by the fact that I now have two Carrows in my ward, one of them in need of considerable repair.

You may be certain that my feelings about having to touch that piece of filth to heal him do not approach the pleasure you no doubt took in laying hands on him last night to injure him. And, yes, it's quite clear you lowered yourself to that extent. Could you not have stuck to a good hex or two?

[alt_sirius]

I didn't touch him!

It was Frank.

mostly

You don't have to do much, if you don't want to do. Though I guess that would keep him in the hospital wing even longer.

[alt_poppy]

Believe me, I've done as little as my conscience and my oath would allow. And he'll be here through tomorrow, I should think.

So far, he can't sit up without the room gyrating madly. He's given up attempting it.

I suspect, too, that we'd find him unable to walk properly yet, either. Fortunately, his head's in no condition to allow him to explore what his legs might do.

Alecto was most distressed when I delayed relieving the swelling around his eyes and mouth, so that's taken care of. But I've not healed any of the rest of the bruising; he deserves every purple, yellow, green, and black lump he's taken.

Which is not to say that I approve of your part of it, mind you.

[alt_alice]

What?

You did WHAT?

Sirius Orion Black, you get up my husband right now so that I can yell at him.

That is not on.

At all.

[alt_sirius]

Well, I would do. But you saw what Poppy said. Frank needs to stay here a few days until young Will is ready to travel.

[alt_alice]

Well, I'll yell at him over this if I have to!

[alt_frank]

he deserved it the rat-bastard

[alt_alice]

That's not the point and you know it, Frank!

You had an infant, Sirius Black, and yourself holed up on Hogwarts grounds, which is currently teaming with Dementors and MLE, and decide to go outside polyjuiced into perhaps the most DANGEROUS PERSON YOU COULD BE POLYJUICED INTO SAVE YOURSELF AND ALBUS DUMBLEDORE SO THAT YOU COULD PICK A FIGHT.

Yes. He deserved it. But yes, it was also bloody idiotic for you to be out there. Which you no doubt know. I just can't believe you'd take that risk.

[alt_frank]

right.

it was sort of... spontaneous like

he was out of his mind drunk already, not like he'd be able to tell a clear story about what happened. and he was alone. and well

it just seemed like a good opportunity to give him what for

not smart, though, yeah, I'll give you that. and a lot could have happened. but it didn't.

[alt_alice]

Not smart is right.

Merlin, Frank.

Just get back here in one piece.

And no more risks.

[alt_arthur]

We also don't have an endless supply of Polyjuice potion to waste for personal vendettas like this.

Although after hearing some of the stories from Ron and the rest, I can certainly understand the urge.

[alt_poppy]

Thank you, Arthur. Yes. That's one of the things I'm most cross about. Pomona and I are not nursing those little fluxweed plants along for this sort of shenanigans. Not to mention filching the other ingredients from Horace and others.

And all you could manage was to send him to me black and blue and covered in lumps. Honestly, you didn't even break a rib!

[alt_sirius]

It wasn't that much polyjuice, really. Just one dose.

As for the damage ... well, we figured that as tempting as it was for him to disappear, that would have been entirely too much attention for everyone.

Are you sure about the ribs? I mean, of course you are, but - well. I thought I heard one crack.

[alt_poppy]

No, curse him, the ribs were all intact. Bruised, yes, but not a one of them broken.

'Frank' seems to have hit hardest just below them: his internal injuries were extensive. Consistent with having been kicked, I'd warrant. (Naturally that is not anything like what I've assured Alecto.)

[alt_sirius]

Yeah, I'd say there was some kicking. Once he was down, certainly. (It's not as easy as you might think to punch someone who's already on the ground.)

Well. I'd say that really the worst of what we did to him is yet to come. Er, has he ... that is, I assume you've not let him drink since he's been in your - tender - keeping?

[alt_poppy]

You're quite right. I've not allowed him a drink.

What exactly did you do to him? Perhaps I could arrange to dose him with an alcohol-based elixir. I've told him he should expect to be here another two nights at the least.

I was forced, by the way, to ban Alecto from the ward this morning: she hexed one of my youngest patients for taking up my time and attention.

So if there's good reason why I might wish to offer Carrow a dram, the event should go unreported.

[alt_kingsley]

If you were still under me in the Auror department you know I'd bust your arse back to trainee level for a stunt like that. Although I'd probably be tempted to take you out for a drink afterwards.

[alt_lupin]

Good grief! I understand the temptation, but really. What if you'd been caught? Evelyn needs her father much more than she needed her cat.

[alt_alice]

Oooooh. I honestly.

I could just smack them both for taking that big of a risk.

[alt_sirius]

Hey, I wanted to have a quiet night in toasting the memory of Lennon.

Though you have to admit that there's a poetry to it. Who's going to actually believe him? Not just one Sirius Black but two? And a spectral cat?

They'll figure he was drunk (which he was) and fell down in the forest.

[alt_mcgonagall]

Oh, I don't think anybody believes he fell down. It's quite clear that somebody hit him. The general consensus, however, seems to be that he likely deserved it, and that he was likely hallucinating from some ghastly experimental potion he brewed and ingested.

[alt_molly]

Oh, dear. I can only hope the fact that he's generally hated by everyone means no one will enquire too closely into the circumstances.

Private Message to Sirius

[alt_alice]

Speaking of toasting...

Were you two drinking last night? Did that fuel this rather spectacularly unwise plan of yours?

I honestly don't know what would be worse -- if you got liquored up first, or decided it would be a good idea while sober.

Re: Private Message to Sirius

[alt_sirius]

Well, if you can't decide which is worse, then it doesn't really matter which one it was, does it?

Look, something had to be done about the man. And we couldn't very well let Frank have a go at him as himself - or anyone else Carrow might recognise. Unless that someone else is someone he can't possibly have seen.

Maybe we should have kept our heads down a little more - but Allie, between you and me Frank's been in remarkably good spiri form since we went out there. Almost chipper. In fact, it's starting to scare me a little. I've never seen him smile so much when he's not with you.

Re: Private Message to Sirius

[alt_alice]

Well, between you and me, that man got every inch of what he deserved, but I'm still angry about what immense trouble you both could have been in if you'd been seen.

And also between you and me, in the future, when I'm not around, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your wits about you enough to cut him off before he's had one too many.

Re: Private Message to Sirius

[alt_sirius]

Is that ... a frequent problem?

Re: Private Message to Sirius

[alt_alice]

Let's just say I don't want it to become one.

[alt_poppy]

Afraid to face us, are you? What terribly big men you both are.

And don't you for one instant think of slinking away from Hogsmeade before I clear you to go. Any of you.

That child needs further attention, and Frank is not under any circumstances to take it, still contagious, into Moddey Dhoo.

As for the two of you, I've a mind to administer a dose of much-required correction.

[alt_alice]

Please do, seeing as I can't be there to give it myself.

[alt_poppy]

My pleasure.

Private message to Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom

[alt_bill]

Ahem.

I'm sure I'm supposed to make chiding noises along with all the rest, but....

Well, as long as you didn't get caught, good on you, mates. From the stories I've heard, I'd agree that the bleeding scum deserved it.

Just don't tell Minerva I said so.

Re: Private message to Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom

[alt_sirius]

I'm not too worried about it. If you listen to what they're really saying, it's not that we did it at all. It's that Minerva wanted a warning and Poppy doesn't want to have to deal with the cleanup.

Well. We figured we were giving Minerva plausible deniability should anyone ask questions. And as for Poppy ... yeah. It's unfortunate she has to look after that tosser. But they'll get over it.

I'm not sure Frank could've come this close to Carrow and not put his hands on the bastard. And if it gives Neville and Evelyn some respite, well - it's worth any amount of clucking hens.

[alt_poppy]

Do you know that I've had to submit to questioning from Professor Lestrange?

It is one thing to have him here in the castle--in certain respects it's a relief to know that he is protecting Mr Marvolo--but it was quite another thing to have him focus his sharp powers of observation on me. We've had Death Eaters on staff for years, but the dangers posed by Lestrange are quite different from those posed by either of the Carrows. Or by Minerva herself, bless her.

And, of course, we're accustomed to taking care not to do anything that might draw suspicion and allegations from any of the other 'loyal' subjects of this castle.

So you may imagine how unfortunate it is that I've now become a subject for interrogation by a man with some skill in the sport.

He wanted to know--based on specific, documentable aspects of the injuries--how many attackers I thought there might have been, how tall or short they must each have been, what weapons (fists, cudgels, boots, stones, teeth) I deemed to have been used on him, what level of skill his attackers possessed ('Did you note any signs these might have been trained fighters, Matron?').

And then he wondered if I had developed a theory, based on the nature and intensity of the Muggle-style blows Carrow suffered, to explain why the wizards involved had largely abandoned their wands for this attack.

For your information, I told him that I believe the injuries indicate the attack was motivated by quite personal animus. Rage, even.

He seems to believe it might have been done by students. And I wish he were right.

[alt_frank]

got the rage part right

and the personal part

and it was more than just the cat, you know. I wanted to give him a good taste of what he did to our terry that'll stay with him for a long while.

but I'm sorry to put you on the spot like that, poppy. that isn't fair to you. at the very least, he can't suspect you're involved, so that's something.

[alt_poppy]

No, he doesn't suspect my involvement. Yet.

But his snooping around with Dawlish was responsible for my failure to make it last night to check on the child. I will come tonight even if it means Pomona has to stage a diversion to draw the bloodhounds off.

How is the lad this morning?

[alt_sirius]

Guess you didn't see my entry, Poppy. Sorry. Understandable, I guess.

He's doing a bit better. Still spitting up and coughing a lot, but the lungs sound clearer.