ORDER ONLY: No news may be good news.

[alt_mcgonagall]

Sirius, it may relieve you to know that I have heard nothing about Regulus or Sanji that would lead me to suspect that they are at all related. I would not trust my own knowledge, of course; but Lucius Malfoy, whatever his flaws, is a father, and I cannot help but think that his paternal instincts - at least in private -

In any case, having spoken to Lucius, I can confidently say that he knows nothing of Sanji's whereabouts that is bad.

The incident, however, has caused such tumult at Hogwarts that I cannot express it. Of course, one's heart goes out to the Patils; but for me it is more than just that. It was heartbreaking to see their interactions with Parvati and Padma, of course. But the atmosphere was so bad already and has only gotten worse, particularly in Ravenclaw Tower. Students are upset; I have dealt with more problems personally in the past week than I had in months past. It seems as though the older students are irritable and snappish and the younger ones - even though they've drawn together in the time of crisis - friable and hysterical. 

Only Luna Lovegood, strangely enough, seems to be a bastion of calm and silence in the middle of the Ravenclaws. She is a bizarre girl, but somehow I had expected otherwise - that she would do something, say something that seemed like typical grieving. But she hasn't, not at all. Molly, Arthur, have you submitted your application to adopt her yet? Is there anything you'd like to say to her?

Comments

[alt_poppy]

I'm very glad to hear this. I've just been seeing the Gryffindor Patil twin, who is very sad about the continued uncertainty regarding her brother. I do believe that no news is more difficult to carry than bad news because it can't be processed properly, and because hope wars with the fears and anticipatory sadness.

I spent the afternoon brewing up some fresh calming potions in a variety of strengths. They are always needed this time of year for students suffering end-of-term stress, but we've had extraordinary need of them this term.

I confess that I've taken to crossing off the days on the calendar in my office. Each day completed is an accomplishment. Does it feel that way to you, as well?

[alt_mcgonagall]

It certainly does.

[alt_sirius]

Yeah, that's good to know.

Merlin, it's been a hard couple of days. On top of staying up all night trying to get through to Reg, I've had to keep up the pretence as Nigel Cullenden that nothing in the world is bothering me.

Still, I reached a point where I couldn't face people anymore and had to get away. I actually went to a film today. And if you think it's easy to find a cinema in the Algerian desert, you're fooling yourself. But at least the dark and the celluloid gave me a chance to regroup.

Though

I don't want anyone to worry, but after commentating the match yesterday, there were the usual crowd of people wanting a word, or an autograph, and of course, witches wanting more than that. I was as charming as I could be, you know, playing the rôle, and I thought I saw someone on the edge of the crowd. Watching. Not watching as in waiting a turn, mind you. But watching.

I'm not that superstitious, but I felt a shiver. Mind you I was in the desert. And yet the hairs on my arms stood on end.

When I'd finished with the fans, whoever it was had gone.

But in light of Crouch's smug mood since I insulted him, I dunno. I'm going to be doubly careful for a while.

[alt_frank]

trust your instincts, mate.

crouch has something he's proud of. he's just cocky enough to strut about it a little, but not enough to show his hand, so I can't be sure if it's your case or not. but walk careful.

[alt_sirius]

Yeah. The only thing is I was sure Bellatrix was heading up my case, so I don't think it's Crouch's to crow about.

But don't worry, I'll keep eyes in the back of my head. 'Constant Vigilance,' as Moody tells us.

[alt_bill]

Don't forget that I gave them information that was supposed hint at your whereabouts, with the cipher set up for them to break, during my interrogation with the aftermath of that whole Archer business.

Maybe the clues we fed them were a little too good....

[alt_kingsley]

I agree on trusting your instincts. That's the sort of thing that would raise the hairs on the back of my neck, and I'm not even an Animagus.

[alt_alice]

I agree with Frank, love.

If Regulus was trying to distract you and get your mind off things...

Well, who on earth would blame you?

But please be careful.

[alt_sirius]

I don't know if he was or not, Allie, but I don't think that was the top of his mind.

I mean to say, he's always been a fragile little bugger. But Thursday he seemed ....

When we were very small, he used to crawl into my bed. We had separate bedrooms - Merlin, we had a whole world of our own up on the third floor - but easily three nights a week, he'd invent some excuse to sleep over in my room.

Talking with him Thursday, I felt certain he would have given nearly anything to be able to crawl into my bed.

That doesn't sound right. I'm not sure it makes sense to anyone else. But it was like ....

Like I could be a big brother again. Sort of, anyway.

[alt_alice]

Oh, Sirius.

It does.

And I don't think you've ever stopped being one.

You could have just walked away. Gave up. Roger did with me.

And I know how much it hurts you to keep trying to reach him over and over again, but there's no doubt that you love him. And he knows it.

I'm not sure if it is enough, but Merlin, Sirius, if he's turning to a child for support, he certainly needs it.

[alt_sirius]

He knows it?

'that's why you didn't love us' he said.

And I did walk away. He thinks I left him when I left them.

Maybe he's right but

Well, he was so concerned with taking up Father's point of view that it was impossible to reason with him. Plus he was always writing terrible poetry that would have put William McGonagall to shame. (No offence, Minerva!)

Still.

I do think the connection to young Pansy Parkinson is telling. They're very alike, you know. But don't forget, she first became fascinated with him when she was staying with my Mother, which could drive anyone to develop an ulcer!

Oh, I don't know.

Roger, if you don't mind my saying it, was a pillock then and he's still a pillock now. I know he was protecting his family but that's no excuse.

[alt_alice]

You've fought for his soul ever since he started writing in here, love.

He knows.

You can't change what you did when you were young. And at the very least, you've had a chance to address it now, as best as you can.

Roger... well... he had a very narrow definition of family. One that didn't include me. So I've had to make a family of my own. And you're part of it, you know.

[alt_sirius]

I may be fighting a losing battle, Allie.

I hate to lose.

And you don't have to tell me about the kinfolk we choose, as opposed to the ones we're born to. You, James and Lily, his parents - I'd've gone spare if I hadn't had them, and Remus and even Peter, back when I left home.

But I know that doesn't make the break any easier to bear.

Anyway - Nigel's got to go be the life of the party. Sylvie's here with her team so I'd best get along before she gets curious about my correspondence.

[alt_alice]

I know. But no-one can fault you for trying.

You keep safe, now, my love.

[alt_poppy]

'I don't want anyone to worry' you say, and then you tell us you saw someone dodgy who was watching you and then disappeared before you could have a proper look?

Well. I'll have you know, Sirius Black, that Anyone is worried. Mind you take care of yourself, or you'll have me to answer to!

[alt_sirius]

Your concern is touching, Poppy.

I'll keep looking over my shoulder. But remember I have ways to hide that they don't suspect.

Besides, I've got to say out of trouble - I've got potions and other supplies to smuggle in!

[alt_poppy]

Mock me if you will, Sirius. I know I fuss at you more often than any of the others, but someone must.

And for Merlin's sake, don't grow overconfident in your disguises. That can be a fatal mistake. Far better to assume they've discovered your secrets and keep safe than suppose yourself invincible and find to your cost it isn't so.

We need you for well more than smuggling. I hope you know that. There's no replacing you if you go.


Oh, don't get me started down that maudlin track. Just keep safe.

[alt_arthur]

Molly and I have been pulling together the parchment work together these last two days, yes, although it's quite difficult to figure out where we should even apply. We quite anxious to get started with the process as soon as possible, though: given the Ministry's extremely dodgy hand in Xeno's fate, we're very concerned about protecting her. I do not like proceeding without her permission and consent, but it's not something I'm eager to air through the journals, and I've heard owl service is going to be restored in the next day or two (thank goodness). We'll put in the request, contingent on her agreement (she may be a child, but she should bloody well have a say on whatever her future's going to be) and we'll owl her personally as soon as the ban is lifted.

[alt_mcgonagall]

If you like, I could put in a word for you. It would be quite natural for you to have contacted me to find out how best to proceed, I believe. I haven't heard anything to suggest that anyone is terribly concerned with Luna; rather, Xeno's press is the topic of conversation among the Death Eaters. She's a pawn to them, so perhaps they'll let her go to you lightly.

You are right about one thing: owl service will soon be restored, likely very soon. I merely await confirmation. I had not wanted to even hint at it, in case I was wrong; but now I feel comfortable saying that it will happen soon!

[alt_molly]

Oh, Minerva, if you could put in a word for us, it would be a huge load off our minds.

I'm so worried about her, but I'm not surprised by your report about how she's doing. She always has been an eerily composed child. Perhaps it has to do with losing her mum so early. Still, she was very close to Xeno.

I'm sure you've told the Prefects to keep an eye on her. Well, not that poisonous Sandoval girl; I'd prefer she keep as far away as possible. But I doubt that Luna will let on to any of them if she's distressed, although I hope she might turn to Ginny.

I'm pinning my hopes on being able to owl her personally. If she writes back, I can perhaps judge a little more accurately how she's really doing. I do believe she'd be more open with me than with anyone, except perhaps Ginny.

[alt_mcgonagall]

I certainly will. As you may have seen, owl post has already been restored since my last reply - excellent news, and I hope you will write to her as soon as may be!

[alt_molly]

What wonderful news! We're sending Errol off with letters for all the children telling them of our plan, as well as one for Luna.